Resolutions or Revolutions? Keep us posted…
It feels liberating to avoid resolutions for the New Year. They never stick for me and feel like cop outs to real work. However, revolution or revelation is another matter. It seems that certainly politically we need revolution. Nothing works. Gun toting is an American past time and no reason to believe those folks in Arizona, Texas, Louisiana, Nevada, etc. will pack up their arms. So there is a jittery feeling as we read about the attacks in Tuscon. What would a peace and pack up your arms revolution look like? I say this with no particular intention to start a protest or write my congress and Senate people. As I said in Monday meditation session, we can work at our own pace for peace. Everyone has a gift to offer, and for those of us who are rather good at sitting on our butts meditating, perhaps this is an active way to send a revolutionary vibration out there.
On a personal note, the New Year started off with an unsettling turn of events for my son. Zach, 26, who lives in Riverdale group home for people with autism, was hospitalized. He had another one of his dangerous outbursts and a trip to N Y Hospital ER was safest solution. He was admitted to Payne Whitney, where he has been receiving excellent care and is possibly the only patient to say “I love it here” enjoying the chance to fill out food cards and go to interesting activities like karaoke, music, CBT, relaxation, yoga, community and spirituality groups. There is a feeling of calm even though the vibe is hospital greenish depressing lock down. It seems this brief stay, which will end in a few days, was a stopping place for Zach. He doesn’t like where he is and we don’t know where he can go in the future. I have dreams for him (and others like him) and in that dream space, sense a small bud like opening through winter’s hard surface. Zach, who will turn 27 the eve of Ground Hog’s Day, has many talents that in the face of his own self destructive behavior, have a hard time blossoming. My resolve (not the same as resolution) is internally strong–to find or create the best place for him–but externally wavering. It’s so hard, I have a life, I have to work, pay my bills, etc. So in this post, I ask for the universe, and you being in it, to support my resolve in any way that you can.
Sunday I spent a beautiful day in Chappaqua with our healer doctor friend Lewis Mehl Madrona and others, participating in the second annual White Buffalo hunt. I don’t understand all the native American ceremony, but do “know” that ceremony, and in this case, putting to rest those elements of last years’ wishes, projects, and dreams (symbolized in a “bundle” of stuff we kept for the year and opened up Sunday), is very important. We enacted the ritual of hunter and hunted, as animals of prey or in some cases pray. I agreed to be a hunter as a wolf but then became somewhat immobilized as to my job during our ritual “hunt.” Later, I saw this very metaphorically. I was in that spot before action–still, something happened. I came back and felt like a mother wolf, silent, still, strong and fiercely protective of my young. Being poised for action and yet not pouncing reactively is the posture I will take as a mother dealing with a challenging son. Being more protective of my time and output was another aspect of Sunday ceremony–for myself and others–to bring in more prosperity working “less hard.” I hope that is something all of us can bring in in 2011. Life would be sweeter, and more abundant if we could work less hard at work and accomplish more.
So how does all of this tie together? It might not, and in bundling, things don’t have to match or tie but can co-exist. Tying themes together is more the work of teaching or writing, perhaps. So when I need to tie, as in working on the revision of my novel or lesson plans, I will do so. When I need the space of standing still at the tip of a snowstorm on shifting firmament, I will call upon the forces, invisible and visible, who can help me stand my ground. Thank you for listening. And now, I’d love to hear how you are revolutionizing in 2011–have you created a quiet space from which all things possible can grow? What would that look like for you? Let’s keep each other posted as we play and grow in a year free of oppressive resolutions but full of promising revolution. Cheers, Sheila